


Ocean Water's Rising Above Your Neck

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Not Beta Read, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Wilbur Soot-centric, major trigger warning, other people show up for a split second, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29370225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “You feel the glass start to crack” - Ship in a Bottle by Fin---------------------Warnings in tags! Attempting to post Anonymously for the first time because bro, you wrote RPF? Cringe. Also, the author of this fic IS safe, this is a vent fic.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56
Collections: Anonymous





	Ocean Water's Rising Above Your Neck

Was this it? Was it finally time? He couldn’t tell, all he could hear was his heartbeat in his chest as he cradled his phone in his hand. The wind was rough, rushing past his ears as cars drove past on the bridge. Closing his eyes, he basked in it for a minute.

His beanie, a classic signature to his look, was barely staying on as the wind whipped through his clothes, chilling him to the bone. He was wearing his trenchcoat as it beat against his legs. The sky was a grey- almost black- of a storm incoming. He could smell the petrichor filling the air, his favourite smell there to wish him goodbye. He was shaking, almost hyperventilating, but at the same time he was so  _ fucking exhausted _ .

This wasn’t the first time, and if he backed out it’d hardly be the last either. He was tired of lying awake at night, fantasizing about this moment. It was all he could think about. For Months. And now he’s finally hit his limit. Well, no, that’s not right… he’s been at his limit for awhile now… It’s more of- it’s more of his  _ fear _ has been getting in the way.

Not of dying or death, no no, those both were plain and simple. Black and white. Sure it might hurt for a bit, but then it’d be over. No, it’s what comes after that terrifies him. Would it be just like the Christian’s in his church said? Would he be sentenced to hell, to be tortured for an eternity, never to see his loved ones again? Would he be stuck in a heaven without those he cares about? Would it be a completely different pantheon? What if there was nothing. Just pure and utter nothing. What if what if what if what  _ if _ . 

And then he’d back out.

But this time was different, it was very, very different. This was the furthest he’d gotten before. It wasn’t really even planned, he was just out on a late night walk and suddenly. He was there. On top of that bridge. Most of the time he couldn’t even muster up the energy to get everything together, to prepare and go through with it. The moments that he’d start to move anxiety would paralyze him.

Thinking about it, he’s had a will prepared for a while now. He went through all the legal logistics so that it would be as smooth as possible, and also so that nothing he didn’t want to happen could happen. He should let his friends know what’s happening. They probably won’t see his letter. He also doesn’t want his followers or friends across the world to see just an abandoned account. An official goodbye of sorts.

Huffing out a breath of air, he finally clicked the power button on his phone. Typing in his password and working his way to discord with numb, aching, shaking fingers. He almost wanted to turn back. He goes to the server’s discord and turns his status online. He goes into vc 2, typing out his message in the main channel.

**King of Cursed Lore:** _ @everyone _ Hello guys, this is more of a serious message. I’m sorry you’ll have to see this, and I wish you wouldn’t have to, but I’d feel worse doing this and not giving you guys a goodbye. So… this is that. I’m thankful for everything you guys have done for me, and please don’t blame yourselves. This has been a long time coming. Tommy, tubbo, phil, techno, you guys have brought me so much joy in these past few months of my life and I love you guys so much. Words can’t even begin to describe it. I know you guys won’t mourn me for long and will move on eventually, time doesn’t stop for someone as insignificant as me, you know? I love all of you guys so much, take care.

And send. Within the span of a minute over half the server was on, more coming on as well. Chaos soon erupted in his ears as everyone read the message, joining the voice chat. Hundreds of voices shouting at him to stop, to back out, to not go through with it. He shouldn’t even be in it, but the selfish part of his brain longed for someone to come one. For them to care. Deep, deep down, a small part of himself even wanted them to talk him out of it. Suddenly everyone went quiet as one voice reached over the rest.

“Wilbur…?” and  _ oh _ . Oh that  _ hurt _ hearing Tommy’s voice break like that.

“Yea, tommy?” his voice was coarse, almost cracking and faint. He heard a shuddering intake of breath on the other side, practically able to feel the panic coming from everyone on the call.

“Wilbur, please don’t do this,” Tommy’s voice was raw, choked with tears. He huffed a sigh through his nose. A deep aching pit filling his core.

“I’m sorry Tommy…” his voice was barely a mutter, falling off near the end as his arm dropped slightly, barely supported by his stomach. He knew that they were all so young, so  _ so _ young, and they shouldn’t have to deal with this, but he  _ needed to say goodbye _ . He  _ couldn’t _ just leave and not give them that goodbye. It’d be insensitive, he’d feel awful doing it. 

“Wil, where are you.” The voice was strained, demanding, and he could hear Phil moving on the other side.

“Mm… the bridge near Riverwalk…” A slam of a car door.

“Don’t do anything, Wil, I’m on my way.” Torn in two, he wanted to wait and let Phil come but he also was  _ so close _ and he couldn’t let Phil ruin this for him.

“‘M sorry Phil, I love you a lot, heh, dadza.”

“Wilbur, come on, who’s going to bully Tommy with me if you do this?” The usually deadpan voice shook slightly, making him laugh gently.

“Oh come one Techno, you know you can do that just fine without me.” He sucked in a breath as the wind picked up, bringing tears to his eyes. “I’m not gonna stay on call for this, guys, I don’t want you to have to hear this.”

“Wil! Wait, wil! No, don’t do this!”

“Wilbur, please… please stay on the bridge…You’re one of my closest friends...”

“Wilbur fucking Soot I swear to god you  _ better not think of doing anything-!” _ and he leaves the voice chat. A sick glimmer of happiness fills him at the thought that it will all be over soon, quickly being overcome with the usual terror. If he does this then he’s committing to it, to whatever afterlife- if any- lays beyond this. He thinks it’s just barely worth it. He slips his phone into his pocket, shoving his numb hands in and taking one last breath of air.

A slam of a car door. Eyes widening, he whips his head back to look at Phil. Phil, who’s running to come grab him. Phil, his father figure, his best friend. The yearning in his heart keeps him grounded for barely more than a second. He hears him scream for him. He turns back around. 

He tilts forward.

And then he falls.


End file.
